Uncontroversial: Online porn in sex ed

The other day, prominent UK professor Sonia Livingstone tweeted that the latest post in the Parenting for a Digital Future blog (which she helped create) has proven controversial. That’s not a huge surprise. The post argues that not including online porn in high school sex education classes “is a missed opportunity.” I agree.

The post’s writer, Claire Meehan, a lecturer in criminology at the University of Auckland, says “education programmes either avoid pornography altogether or dismiss it as taboo.”

Dr. Meehan calls for “more robust, reliable and inclusive sex education which accepts pornography as part of young people’s lives and focuses on minimising the harm that can result.” In the US, “93% of boys and 62% of girls were exposed to online pornography during adolescence,” according to research at the University of New Hampshire, and Dr. Meehan cites studies in the UK and Australia showing that a majority of youth 15+ have had some exposure to pornography.

Teens’ views needed

That part is uncontroversial. So I’d argue that helping young people understand and make sense of what they’re being exposed to is uncontroversial too. They need to be party to this discussion. So…

A recent study that Meehan cites found that many teens felt they weren’t getting enough education about it. “Many young people feel that pornography is normal,” she writes, “but they acknowledge it’s a poor model for consent or safe sex and they want better sex education, to include pornography.”

They are so right. Young people deserve and need trustworthy information on consent, safe sex, how to have healthy relationships and so much more – especially now that texting, geolocation, photos, live videochat, etc. are so much a part of how people, not just teens, find and maintain relationships. And, I’d add, especially in a time when parents and educators are unsure of how young people use those digital tools in their social lives. These statistics at LoveIsRepect.org, the U.S.’s dating abuse helpline, show the vast difference between teens’ experience with dating violence and what their parents think.

The need for facts and reliable information is greater than ever. We know from LoveIsRespect.org that teens have a lot of questions about what healthy dating relationships look like. They need to know that incessant texting can be a kind of stalking, how “ghosting” can make someone feel and that multiple requests for nudes is sexual harassment and how online porn affects relationships. Finding signal – perspective – amid all the noise of today’s media environment is hard. How can we make it easier for young people?

Related links

• Correlation not causation: “To date, research has not shown that viewing sexually explicit material directly causes changes in sexual attitudes, beliefs, or behaviors in young people. The research does suggest that viewing SEM may influence some sexual attitudes and behaviors in some youth. However, it is unclear if certain sexual attitudes and behaviors in young people cause them to view SEM, if the viewing of this material causes young people to have certain sexual attitudes and behaviors, or whether another characteristic (e.g., impulsivity, sexual curiosity) causes young people to have certain sexual attitudes and behaviors and also seek out SEM,” write the authors of “A Guide to Teaching About Online Sexually Explicit Media: The Basics” (2018). Lead author Kris Gowen, PhD, EdM, is also author of Sexual Decisions: The Ultimate Teen Guide.
• The sexualized culture context. In 2015, when the soft-porn film 50 Shades of Gray was released, actor and commentator Russell Brand looked at how sexualized culture, including online pornography, affects people. Some examples he cited from the Journal of Adolescent Medicine were exaggerated perceptions of sexual normalcy, diminished trust and abandoned hope of sexual monogamy. I wrote about that here. [I’m not sure which article in the Journal of Adolescent Health Brand was referring to (hard to find because full articles are behind a pay wall), but it could’ve been “Exposure to Sexually Explicit Web Sites and Adolescent Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors.”]
• Talking points for parents. In 2012, California sex educator and therapist Marty Klein offered talking points for parents in talking with their kids about online pornography: e.g., “It’s fiction, not a documentary”; those are “atypical bodies” and “atypical activities”; “it’s edited” (or “photoshopped”); and “different people related to porn differently – how does it affect you?” My favorite tip for parents from Dr. Klein is that it’s better not to have big-deal, once-in-a-blue moon talks with our kids about online pornography. Instead, have occasional low-key check-ins on what they and their peers are encountering online and whether they have any questions. See my post for more.
• There’s a media literacy piece to this. Critical thinking was the core aim of an after-school “Porn Literacy” class (for high school students) designed by Emily Rothman, a Boston University associate professor of public health. She was cited in the New York Times as saying that teaching teens “to analyze [pornography’s] messages is far more effective than simply wishing our children could live in a porn-free world.” This is media literacy, actually, which safeguards people’s understanding, informs decisions, supports values and provides much-needed perspective). You’ll find details on Dr. Rothman’s course and much more in an explicit, in-depth article in the New York Times last year: “What Teenagers Are Learning from Online Porn.”
• Solid information for teens: “Making sense of sexual media” and “A straightforward look at porn” at award-winning Scarleteen.com (tagline: “Sex ed for the real world”)