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Dear Subscribers:

Here's our lineup this first week of July:

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Credible sites for kids

There's help for parents and teachers in search of credibility on the Web - or even plain-old fun and constructive sites for kids. For his family-tech column this week, SafeKids.com's Larry Magid interviewed "Net-mom." She's Jean Armour Polly, former librarian, mother of a teenager, and author of "The Internet Kids & Family Yellow Pages". Larry reports that Polly's research into good Web sites for kids has taken her to "more than 30,000 children's Web sites since she started researching the first edition of her book in 1995." Here are her "100 Hot Sites for Families".

Don't miss the good advice in Larry's piece on how to check for credibility and currency in a Web site, and how to find age-appropriate material for kids. If you'd like to add your own experience in finding good kid content, we'd love to hear from you - via feedback@netfamilynews.org.

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Subscribers write

  1. Online sex & instant messaging: 1 family's experience

    Subscriber Elaine in New Jersey recently wrote us that she was very worried about her nine-year-old niece, "Laurie" (not her real name), already an avid user of instant messaging (IM), a technology that turns email into real-time online chat. Elaine said she was very concerned about Laurie's encounters with cybersex while chatting and her parents' lack of understanding and, therefore, involvement. We have to leave the latter issue to the family to work out, but - with Elaine's permission - we're publishing the online part of the story in case it can alert, inform, or elicit advice from fellow subscribers and parents of other online kids who may not know what they're getting into. If any of you have been down a similar road with your children, write us about it and, with your permission, we'll pass your insights on to Elaine and publish them as well. Thanks in advance. Here's the story:

    While visiting Laurie and her family in a neighboring state, Elaine noticed that Laurie had been "cybered" while using instant messaging. "Cybered" is Internet slang for online sex, the text version of "phone sex." (For context, see our coverage of "Online Victimization", a study by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.)

    Elaine wrote us, "I felt that if I asked my niece [about her experience] directly, she would shut it and me down, so instead I asked her who the 'friends' were she was IM-ing [chatting] with. Some of the friends were specific people in her class; others she was evasive about. Only after questioning did she [indicate] that either the boy was much older, or she really wasn't sure who he was…." Elaine saw Laurie's response to the experience in a message to a friend: " 'I did it once and it was gross. I didn't like it. I don't want to be cybered any more!!! Don't tell him my other screen name.' "

    Elaine decided to learn more about how this happens: "Since I wasn't positive what this was and knew my niece wouldn't tell me, I went on AOL … to a chat room and, with two clicks, after the first two lines [of text] in this room named after one of the Spice Girls, I was on a teen porn site! My niece is nine!!! But the reason I initially went to the chatroom was to be able to learn what 'cybered' meant. After a while I got up the courage to act like the new user I was, but, when asked, I said I was 14 so that I could get answers. My new-found willing instructor replied, 'ha ha ha,' when I asked what it meant, and finally told me it was phone sex but on the computer, and then went into very descriptive wording…."

    Elaine offered some background on Laurie's experience with instant messaging: "My niece … started IM-ing, I think, sometime in the latter half of 1999. I rarely caught her online and got few emails [from her]. She told me she didn't go on the computer much. Then she got a newer computer. I didn't know anything changed. But when I was watching her yesterday [while visiting Laurie's family] I realized she has become an IM master.

    "One reason I haven't heard her online is because I've discovered she has many screen names and doesn't use with her friends the one she gave me." (If you're online, have IM installed, and know an IM user's screen name, you can tell when the user's online - what Elaine means by "hearing" Laurie online.)

    Elaine continued: "Yesterday I saw her IM-ing with five people at one time! She can type faster with a few fingers than I can with 10. While I was there she got IMs from two people she didn't know, and she was very willing to chat. Kids(?) [Elaine put that question mark there because it's usually impossible to tell if strangers are kids or not] were asking her other kids' screen names. It was like watching a virus multiply ... and pretty scary, knowing how easy it is for kids to be in and get into bad situations."

    Later Elaine emailed us she'd received an email from Laurie "…proudly telling me about her first Web site. My heart sank, fearing what info she might have displayed there. Luckily she revealed no personal ID and it's merely a cutesy paragraph about her cats. She does have a guest sign-in page, though, and now her friends are identifying themselves with last names, towns, and email addresses. I was able to find [Laurie's] best friends' phone number with the info on her guest page. I called the number for verification and got a message recorded by the mother identifying everyone in the family…. In a long email to [Laurie] I wrote about the rules and why and prayed she read it all. I also told her that her friends should not sign in with their full names, etc. She didn't understand how anyone could find them that way. I hope the odds are really small that anyone will stumble on this site, but the fact remains that these kids don't understand."

    Editor's note: This family's situation is complicated, but it's a valuable illustration of the potential risks of having a child who is Net-fluent when there are no rules and when parents aren't aware of the consequences. Elaine kindly consented to publication, knowing it might help other families. In her emails, she has alluded to some very good rules for everyone to consider. Here are a few more:

    • If you're an AOL subscriber, fine-tune your "Parental Controls" (see our item on this last week). For example, if you give your child the "Kids Only" designation, recommended for kids 12 and under, s/he will not have access to instant messaging. Actually, "Young Teens" (13-15) don't have access to IM either. This certainly indicates AOL's position on instant messaging and nine-year-olds!
    • If you're not an AOL subscriber, kids' Web services such as SurfMonkey.com, FreeZone.com, I-Safe.org, and Headbone.com provide safe, child-appropriate chatrooms and/or discussion boards that are monitored full-time (references to sex are not permitted).
    • If your child chats, emails, and/or uses instant-messaging without the protections offered by those sites, you may want to talk with your child about your need to monitor that activity and work out some rules together. Here's a sample family contract for acceptable Internet use, and others at GetNetWise.org.
    • No matter what Internet service provider your family uses, it's wise not to let a child use his/her real name as a screen name and not to provide a user profile that reveals his or her age, sex, or any other personal information that invites intrusive and inappropriate emails. Allowing a child to have more than one screen name is ok, provided it doesn't detract from parents' ability to stay in close touch with the child's online communications. The degree to which parents stay in touch is very individual, based on their own approach to parenting.
    • There are more great "Guidelines for Parents" at SafeKids.com.

  2. The no-Net-use policy

    Subscriber Harold in Pennsylvania, who writes that he teaches seminars on protecting kids online, has taken a no-use approach to online safety in his home (see our Editor's note below for thoughts on this). Here he explains why:

    "Because of my concerns regarding the Internet and online safety I do not have a computer at home. I have a 16-year-old son living with me, and I am certain that his having access to the Internet and chat rooms would not be in his best interest at this time. As a very involved and concerned parent it would be too difficult for me to monitor his activities while online, so I prefer personally not to have a computer in my home. He is a wonderful son and I do not have any problems with him, however, I do not want to open any door to create any either.… I would prefer that he spend the greater portion of his free time interacting with his friends face to face in the 'real time' world, rather than chatting with who knows who about who knows what in the potentially 'unreal' world of the Internet and chat rooms - you know, where not everyone and everything is as it appears to be….

    "Even though I believe in America and our constitutional rights I am greatly concerned about 'freedom of speech' and the Internet because of what I see happening with young people across our country. I am not certain yet as to whether the government should try to do something about the Internet and chat rooms or not…. I do know this, I am greatly disturbed by the fact that even one … young child is lured into potential or real danger as a result of our so called freedoms and what is allowed on the Internet…. Many parents have told me that they were not even aware of the dangers that exist…."

Editor's note: We suggest that even a no-Net-use policy does not provide children with blanket protection, unless parents can somehow ensure their children have no Net access outside the home. These two emails illustrate just a few of the positions grownups now find themselves in: from a concerned aunt whose hands are pretty much tied to a busy mom who is somewhat in denial to a loving father taking a very conservative approach. We'd appreciate hearing where you stand on protecting online kids.

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Web News Briefs

  1. New Economy politics

    Both Vice President Al Gore and Gov. George W. Bush are positioning themselves as the New-Economy candidate. According to the New York Times, they seem to be turning the presidential election into a referendum on which candidate can best reshape government to meet the challenges of an economy so fueled by information technology.

  2. Teaching teachers

    The keynote message of a high-tech executive at a major ed-tech conference was that "education, not technology, is the foundation of the so-called New Economy." Something many of us would agree with, but a little unexpected coming from Intel CEO Craig Barrett. According to Wired News, the "record turnout" at the National Educational Computing conference in Atlanta last week and a surprise visit from US Education Secretary Richard Riley "marked a significant step for proponents of technology in education."

  3. Reality check: AP courses on the Web

    Some US school systems can't afford to hire expensive advanced-placement teachers, the people who help high school students get a head start on college. So thousands of students went on the Web to take AP courses this past year, according to the New York Times. They took instruction via Web sites produced by either a private company called Apex Learning or several state university systems. The Times article spells out some of the realities and growing pains, including individual students' experiences and that of Apex Learning: "Of the 600 students in 28 states who enrolled in at least one of the company's … courses in the last school year, two-thirds did not complete enough of the course work to take the final exam, Apex officials said."

  4. Primer on e-signatures

    This week's New York Times Magazine does a good job of explaining what digital signatures are. E-signatures were legalized when, appropriately enough, President Clinton "e-signed" the e-signature bill into law, reports CNET.

  5. (Not) applying to college online

    High school students are increasingly using the Internet for their college searches, but not for their applications. A recent study showed that 41% of high school seniors who applied to college the traditional way said security worries were a major factor in their decision not to apply online, according to the New York Times.

    As for college research online, a resource that has recently come to our attention is KnowledgeFirst.com, all about financial aid. The site helps students and their families "explore aid options, compare loan packages, make informed decisions, and apply for and receive student loans online."

  6. Incubator for women techies

    For those who have students or daughters interested in technology careers, Wired News has a whole package of stories on the subject. In it is coverage of this month's Women in Technology International conference in Silicon Valley, including a report on a planned "incubator center" for women's tech careers at Smith College in Massachusetts. The center is scheduled to open in September 2001.

  7. Cheap airline tickets: New source

    It's getting easier to shop for air-travel bargains online. To compete with Priceline.com, six major airlines have formed Hotwire.com, a discount ticket Web site, according to The Standard. A visit to Hotwire.com indicates that we'll be able to start buying cheap tickets there in the fall.

  8. Filtering followup

    Following up on our report last week, the US Senate approved Sen. Rick Santorum's milder approach to Internet filtering in schools - letting them decide what approach they should take. According to Newsbytes.com, the Pennsylvania Republican's "Neighborhood Children's Internet Protection Act" - not tougher legislation sponsored by Sen. John McCain (R) of Arizona - was the amendment the Senate tacked onto a Labor/Health & Human Services spending bill that, if signed, will go into effect next October.

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Help from Uncle Sam

Here are two meaty Web sites - on parenting needs and consumer issues - from the US government:

  1. All aspects of parenting

    Several departments of the US government teamed up to publish this meaty site: "Parenting Resources for the 21st Century". It's a guide to a myriad parenting resources, from finding child care for an infant to help for young drug abusers to information on college scholarships.

  2. Consumer info: avoiding problems, registering complaints

    Our thanks to the Family Education Network for pointing us to the US Federal Consumer Information Center's release of the "2001 Consumer Action Handbook". It's useful to peruse before you make a major purchase, but it also offers plenty of after-the-fact information for consumers who've had less-than-positive experiences.

    As for the computer corner of the consumer market, the Federal Trade Commission says "free PC" claims are misleading. According to ZDNet, Value America, Inc., Buy.com, and Office Depot have been "singled out for providing insufficient or misleading information on what the deals involved." Here's Wired News's version.

If any of you find either of these sites useful, tell us why. (We love to hear from you!)

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That does it for this week. Have a great weekend!

Sincerely,

Net Family News

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